One of the things I’ve enjoyed the most about the Harry Potter experience is the incredible reactions it engenders in its fans. Everyone has a different draw or reaction to the story but it tends to grip fans tightly – maybe a little too tightly, if the girl in the homemade Weasley sweater and equally dubious accent on line with us was any indication.
Since the books were first released in 1997, I’ve read all seven at least once. I worked the release party for the 7th book at the Borders down the street from our camp chairs. I read the 5th book on the train from London to Cornwall and had to have my friends at our all-girl’s school in Plymouth explain ‘taking the mickey’ to me because I was shocked that Harry Potter would reference drugs. I’ve seen most of the movies in the theater but never gone the whole nine yards and waited in line for seven hours.
It was worth it. The lights went down on a crowd of excited people, some wearing cloaks and striped scarves, some with wands or stuffed owls. Some, like me, just came prepared for the cold and a good time, but were amped nonetheless. Some of us were die-hard fans of the books, anxious to see it translated on the screen; some had only seen the movies and didn’t know what the hell a Horcrux was. Others had been on the street since the previous night, which was fairly obvious if you were sitting next to them.
When the lights went out and the Warner Brothers logo came on screen, a building shriek rang out through the theater – then was extinguished as quickly as if someone had actually managed to get their twig wand to cast a silencing spell.
The opening sequence quickly indicated that these last two installments are taking the most faithful approach to adapting the books yet. There is a fair amount of pruning and condensing – for instance, showing Hermione erasing her parents’ memories of her before setting off to join Le Resistance rather than relating it via dialogue. Nice wandwork, Miss Granger, but won’t your parents wonder why there’s a bunch of empty picture frames on their mantle?
That key scenes are lifted almost word for word from the books will certainly help newcomers or the reading ambivalent actually understand the plot this time around, the team does have to deal with a number of plot holes left from previous adaptations. Was the mirror Sirius gave to Harry way back in book 5 ever mentioned before or will approximately half a given audience wonder why the hell Harry keeps consulting a shard of glass that he keeps in his sock? Will we ever find out why the Burrow was moved to the middle of a random ass wheat field? These are the questions that will baffle the casual Harry Potter fan.
Being somewhat more devoted myself, I picked up on the nearly word for word scene at Malfoy Manor, where the big bads have convened to discuss that pesky Potter kid – all color coded in black for your convenience. If the emo dress code wasn’t enough to indicate that this is not an all-together altruistic meeting, the man with no nose and the giant snake are a pretty good indication.
Voldemort rallies his troops with the supreme confidence that only a man in
While his ultimate allegiance is still in question, Snape was right about the Order’s plans. Original flavor Mad Eye shows up on Privet Drive with a whole bunch of past characters and some Polyjuice Potion to get this show on the road. I’m convinced that David Yates recognized Daniel Radcliffe’s natural comic abilities and kept skewing the film towards humor, because the scene with six Harrys is hilarious. Also, when did the Weasley twins stop resembling the Monkees and turn hot? Sudden onset of repressed ginger fetish in 3…2…1
For a movie about literal soul killing, they’re taking the opportunity for sight gags at every turn – a besotted Fleur!Harry cuddled up against Bill earned a particularly big laugh from our theater. Then the mood whiplashes into awesome when the Order takes to the sky and are immediately set upon by a herd of Death Eaters (What’s the plural for Death Eaters? ‘Murder’ sounds appropriate but too obvious. Sorry foxes - ‘skulk’ seems like it fits). The real Harry is recognized, not by his propensity to disarm, which struck me as a missed opportunity for the finale, but by Hedwig’s devotion. Even braced for it, the majority of the theater gasped when his owl was shot down.
Voldemort floats on over once he’s pinpointed the O.G. Harry but any attempts to Avada Kedavra his ass are thwarted by Harry’s wand seemingly acting on its own. Lucius’ BAMF wand is destroyed by Harry’s, forcing Voldemort to take out his rage on some innocent power lines. Somewhere a town of Muggles is without electricity but also not dead, so it’s a toss up.
The Order regoups at the Burrow and, tragedy aside, I am thrilled that Fred and George’s ear conversation was left in its entirety. Next to Peeves, they were my favorite parts of the books and the poltergeist never made it onto the big screen, so thank you for that.
I’m still completely baffled by Bill Nighy’s accent, but the scene with the Prime Minister cleared up a long-time question of mine – apparently you leave out roughly half the vowels in his name and pronounce it Scrim-ger. Good to know. He hands over seemingly random but actually plot important objects a là Galadriel then removes himself and his Lady Clairoled hair from the Burrow so Bill and Fleur can get married.
Confession – the wedding planner in me dearly wants to be able to construct a reception site by magic. Is an enchanted tent too much to ask for? The wedding scene was too brief – for me – and lacking in Bulgarian men, but they managed to cram in the introduction of Xenophilius Lovegood, some good old Luna battiness, and key information about Dumbledore and Godric’s Hollow. The arrival of Kingsley’s Patronus and the verbatim line about the Ministry falling actually gave me chills.
I don’t remember the exact time in the film, but mention must be made of the awesomeness that is Neville Longbottom. When Death Eaters storm the Hogwarts Express, the Chosen One also-ran announced, “Hey losers, he isn’t here.” It’s a huge step up from soaking everyone in Stinksap. Can’t wait to see him take another level in badass in part deux!
The trio’s foray into Muggle London is where the film really takes off. Up until now the story has followed the traditional formula – a death defying end to summer vacation, then onto the next school year – but now they venture outside their comfort zone and have to sever ties with the wizarding world. There was a long, audible ‘awww’ when the camera lingered over Hermione and Ron’s hands after their first night in Grimmauld place. While the double reveal with Kreacher (and his shiv) and Mundungus was the most important to the overall plot, I wish they’d left in the letter and picture in Sirius’ room and Harry’s confrontation with Lupin. The moment in the books when Harry blasts his former teacher for thinking about leaving his pregnant wife struck me as a crucial turning point from adolescent to adult.
Instead we got a great sight gag of the trio as Polyjuiced Ministry workers. Harry borrowed a body belonging to a feared thug and slunk around with a hilarious look of terror while Ron masqueraded as a low level Ministry worker with a hot wife, and is apparently unable to remember even the most basic of enchantments. How did you make it through six years of wizard school, kid?
A brief foray into Umbridge’s office gives the set dressers another chance to use the absurdly expensive rug designed to accent her decorative kitten plates and newly procured Moody eye. Since there’s nothing of plot importance in that pink hellhole, Harry shuffles awkwardly off to the trial of Ron’s ‘wife’, where he finds Umbridge apparently unbothered by the evil bit of soul accessorizing her cat shawl. Never one to reflect on the slightest impulse, Harry Stuns Umbridge, allowing disguised Hermione to snatch the Horcrux and the trio to make their escape. Not before Ron gets a little sugar from his new wife, though.
A particularly gravel-voiced agent of Voldemort’s hitches along when the Disapparate, so Hermione abandons their hideaway and heads for the woods. We get a glimpse of the horrific side effect of Apparition when Ron leaves a good chunk of his shoulder behind. His recuperation, also known simply as The Camping Section, kicks off a travelogue of Places in the British Isles That No One Ever Really Wants to Visit. I seem to remember something about a Voldemortornado ripping through a Muggle trailer park in the book, so that particular location was a nice inclusion.
The upside of the interminable camping portion is that they’ve finally managed to find a Horcrux. The locket makes a toe curling skritching sound as the heroes make every attempt to blast that bastard to pieces. Invulnerable to everything but a basilisk infused sword, it emits a high grade PMS beam, causing tempers to flare in the enchanted tent. The Grint in particular devolves into a little bitch and storms out on his friends.
At a loss without their gingery comic relief, Harry and Hermione attempt to alleviate the tension with some awkward dancing. No one is fooled. They settle for a visit to Godric’s Hollow, Harry’s birthplace and the Dumbledores’ former home. No mention has been made of Dumbledore’s sister, a troubled witch who was tormented by Muggles and who just so happens to share my name. Would have been nice to have been name dropped in the biggest movie of the year, but what you gonna do?
They find the Potters’ tombstone after stumbling across a cryptic marking on a grave marked Peverell. Waiting at the entrance of the graveyard is a seriously creepy old woman. Call me crazy, but when one of the most chill inducing senior citizens that you’ve ever seen motions for you to follow, go the other way. No such common sense prevails, so they follow her to a hoarder’s dream. She pointedly ignores Harry’s questions about a photograph of the young man who’s starred in several of his Voldemort Vision nightmares, a thief who has taken something Snake Nose is willing to kill for. Not like that says much, but he’s pretty adamant about finding the guy if Harry’s constant visions are any indication.
Batty Bathilda lures Harry upstairs – another red flag if there ever was one – where she is revealed as Voldemort’s giant snake in an old lady suit. Reptiles have never particularly freaked me out, but this snake gives me the heebs. Hermione manages to zap it and get them the hell out of there, at the expense of Harry’s wand.
As if the loss of his magic tool wasn’t enough, Harry draws the Horcrux shift and sits angsting outside their tent until a glowing doe trots by. Because shining animals are always a good sign, he abandons Hermione to follow the doe into the woods and onto an iced over pond. Shining in the surely freezing depths is the sword of Gryffindor. Harry strips down for the umpteenth time to go polar bearing but nearly gets strangled by the Horcrux. Action!Ron leaps out of nowhere and drags both a nearly naked Harry and the sword to the surface. As a reward for his heroics, Ron gets to stab the evil piece of jewelry.
Before he can summon the balls to skewer the locket, Ron is treated to his greatest fear come to life – evil versions of his two friends telling him that he will always be second best to Harry. To drive the point home, Horcrux!Harry and Horcrux!Hermione start making out - wearing nothing but luminous paint. L’Awkward.
To save his eyes – and ours – Ron strikes, eliciting an enormous, powdery explosion and a huge burst of applause from the audience. He returns to the tent in triumph with the wasted locket and the sword, but gets a reception as chilly as the frozen pond. Despite his heroics, he gets a beatdown at the hands of a frustrated Hermione. In an attempt to get back in her good graces, he launches into a stilted monologue that wandered in from a Nicholas Sparks movie, about the lights moving inside his heart and leading him back to his friends or some shit. It fails to impress Hermione, but Harry urges him to keep repeating it. Chicks dig sentimental crap.
To keep things moving, and discourage Ron from going on about the lights, Hermione suggests a visit to the Lovegoods’ to investigate the symbol that’s popped up in several places including – more – jewelry, and Dumbledore’s book of fables. Rabbity babbity, amiright guys? No one?
There were a number of details that I wish they’d left in the visit to good old crazypants Xenophilius – Luna’s friendship mural, the as yet unmentioned Ravenclaw diadem, even the damn Erumpent horn – but instead we get treated to a seriously awesome animated version of the Three Brothers, a wizarding tale about three brothers who receive gifts from Death, items that make up the titular Deathly Hallows. They include an unbeatable wand, a stone that can bring back the dead, and an invisibility cloak that can fool even the Reaper. Together, the Hallows allow the bearer to cheat death. Harry realizes that his frequent viewings of Voldemort Vision signify his foe’s attempt to find the unbeatable wand as he follows a centuries old chain of murder and theft. Before Xenophilius can trade the trio for his kidnapped daughter, they beat a hasty retreat – right into the arms of a group of Snatchers, hooligans employed by the Ministry to round up Mudbloods or something.
Hermione’s hurriedly cast Swelling Charm only disguises Harry for the space of a conversation, and they find themselves in the dungeons of Malfoy Manor along with Luna, Ollivander, and a goblin. Enraged by their possession of the sword of Gryffindor, and Harry’s general Voldemort thwarting, Bellatrix settles in for a nice torture session with Hermione. As glimpsed earlier during the Board Meeting of Evil, her hair is in direct correlation with her level of crazy. Her ‘do is at humid Amy Winehouse levels now, resulting in a prison tattoo on Hermione’s arm.
Luckily that random slice of mirror in Harry’s sock has a purpose besides the ever-present threat of tetanus, and Dobby appears to their rescue. I’m curious what casual viewers think the mirror is all about, since it was never mentioned before this film and, oddly enough, has not been expositoried all over. My test for a successful adaptation is to determine whether or not my dad would have been able to follow the movie without having read the book or used me as Cliffs notes and I have no doubts that he would have had questions about this one.
He’d also have inquired about the cutesy elf spirited in from another story – and his styling boots. Dobby simply doesn’t fit in with the tone of Deathly Hallows, almost as out of place in this grim tale of a sinister scavenger hunt as singing elephants. He does bust the boys out of prison and spirit the other captives to safety, so I guess he can stay. He also unscrews the Malfoys' chandelier, probably out of pique at their former treatment of him. His attack gives Ron enough time to snatch Hermione from the point of Bellatrix’s knife and Harry to disarm Draco – not with his favorite spell but with good, old-fashioned wrestling. They Disapparate to relative safety, but don’t manage to outrun Bellatrix’s knife.
Another audible gasp ran through the audience at the reveal of the blade sticking out of Dobby’s chest. I actually found myself wondering if Daniel Radcliffe was cradling a dummy straight out of the Uncanny Valley when Dobby died in his arms, going out upbeat to the last. Harry gives him a proper burial before we shift to another, very different tomb.
I sort of doubt that Dumbledore would have been interred in such a postmodern monstrosity, but mine is not to wonder why. Either way, Voldemort thinks little of disturbing the dead and busts on in there to relieve Dumbledore of his wand, a knotted instrument that has featured heavily in a number of Harry’s visions. His almost immortal foe now possesses the Elder Wand, the most powerful of the Hallows. Bastard’s going to be nearly impossible to defeat now. But that’s a story for another time – roll credits!
The second installment isn’t due out until July, when the furor will start all over again for the last time. I’m not sure that I’ll sign up for another stretch of sidewalk camping when it does, but I loved sharing this experience with a group of great friends. To Kelsey, Emily, Ella, Neko, Caitlyn, Casey, and Trinity – and Matt, Justin, Justine and Jennifer for visiting those of us crazy enough to wait – thanks for making seven-odd hours fly by. If nothing else, let’s all get together and see DH part 2 midday on Friday – that worked really well last time.
To my wonderful father – I wish I could have shared this movie with you too. I miss explaining wizarding minutiae to you and I know you would have wanted to see Cowboys & Aliens.
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